Wise Words
Sing A Song
Chongeswar
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**Sing a Song** A Seeker approaches a Guru. Seeker: Life has tested me through many trials Misfortunes,Suffering, failure, and uncertainty. I tested myself too, By choosing truthfulness over convenience, By trying to protect the inner child despite all adversity, By doing various things with sole intention to learn. I have done menial jobs as well. My job demands that I become A jack of all trades. I stand before you Without pride or complaint. I am at your service. I can do anything. (he pauses.) Only thing I cannot do. I cannot sing. I cannot dance. After moment of silence Guru: Sing a Song. Seeker: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How comfortably without giving much thought we profess our limitations. List of these can nots is diverse -different for different people. I cannot sing. I cannot dance. I cannot do mathematics. I cannot understand chemistry. I cannot speak in public. I cannot eat bitter gourd or broccoli. I cannot drink milk or milk with cream. I cannot cry. I cannot behave this way. I cannot want this. I cannot ask what i want. I cannot stop these thoughts. I cannot think positively. I cant leave this place. I cant live differently. I cannot feel confident. I cannot trust people. I cannot be close to anyone. I cannot express myself. I cannot speak up for myself. I cannot be happy. I cannot afford to be sad. How often knowingly or unknowingly. We draw a boundary around our self. I cannot do this or that. We repeat them often even more so mentally. These 'cannots' may start with slight discomfort or unease , which gradually move to dislike and then to I can not . It does not stop here , it move to 'mustnot' and then 'never'. In some extreme cases it reaches the state of how can I ? where your whole being get repulsed by the mere thought of it . What begin as harmless, almost casual statementsI can not, or this isnt for me,do not remain harmless. Repeated quietly over time, they solidify into belief. This hardening follows a subtle but consistent path: It begins emotionally, as discomfort, fear, or shame. It is then justified intellectually, one may find innumerable reasons to justify their choices. It becomes reinforced behaviorally, through avoidance, withdrawal, or habitual retreat. Finally, it is embodied physicallyin posture, breath, energy, and the shrinking of possibility. Then,Strangely, one may even begin to wear them as a badge of honor, regardless of how negative, limiting or sorrowful they are. Observe the levels which I can not " have penetrated .These are the boundaries which we have accepted initially, in the name of safety and security. It is worse if your family or friends chose them for you. As you want it to stay in a comfort zone. You have accepted shackles and build wall around this territory. To be sure , wall after wall. Soon it turned into a fort. Your fort of comfort and peace. Ironically, it get disturbed with the slightest winds of change and sadly which happens often and fear grips you. It creates a fixed mindset that discourages experimentation and learning. It feeds selective memory, remembers the failure which proves your point in forgetting a small success. This shapes and weakens your self-belief and doubts and questions your capabilities. This town does not limit itself to that particular area it permeates to other areas, event to your strengths. **Formation ** -Many early experiences when one is teased, bullied, felt awkward and compared. -One or two high impact experiences govern for many years, maybe whole life. -Influences from early life society, family, friends and culture, indoctrination. -Negative memories have more power. We find a way to forget a small thing which brought joy and solace to our life.(1) -Society - they cannot do it and they don't let you do it too. (crab mentality) -Mind wants you to keep safe, protect from potential discomfort or disappointment -It is easier to give up than to try. -Mind wants to avoid feeling incompetent someone very good in one field(studies or game) is told that you're not in good in other field( you cannot dance) it gets jerk or shock. It resists and fights, but it gives up soon. -Social comparison to others or naturally gifted person -Learned helplessness -Negative self-talk -most damaging -Portraying as a victim. Self-limiting belief reinforced by self-fulfilling prophecies, this butterfly effect get compounded as you hold on to it. This time the eighth wonder of the world compounding unfortunately works against your interest. (2) unless you put effort to change it. **How to change it** -Micro experiments of 2 to 5 minutes. -Adopt attitude of learning it is joyous and fun.Be open to learn from anything or anyone. (3) -Make the practice playful . -Think of unfavorable conditions as conditions which require germination of seed -Stop taking yourself too seriously, develop courage to laugh with others who are laughing at you. -Go step one further, learn something which you thought you will never even try. -Do more than what is required as sometimes we have become acquired the habit of doing just enough.( option to say no later is always open) -Few people tend intellectualize things -keep thinking planning plotting waiting for the right time conditions etc. Just start something. Just do it. Don't put the rudder in front of the propeller. -Take a step backwards to recollect and to regroup and jump. Same as you would have done in a childhood while jumping the steps of stair case, just in case you twist your ankle in one of your jumps, to start all over again. Slowly and gradually, often without notice, we are reduced to being a man with responsibilities or a woman with dutiesor both. We forget our dreams, hobbies, and interests. Dreamshow long has it been since you truly thought about them? Or do you think of them daily, without a single step taken? Here, hobbies become important: Creative & expressive: singing, dancing, drawing, painting, writing, music etc Physical & movement-based: walking, hiking, sports, yoga, cycling, swimming, running etc Intellectual: puzzles, reading, deep interests in any particular subject or topic etc Nature-based: gardening, birdwatching, farming, nature walks, stargazing etc *Most of these children do naturally*. *As we grow, we stopnot because we cannot,but because we start acting like adults.* And in doing so, we lose the** spark.** *The creative adult is the child who survived. Ursula K. Le Guin* These are not instructions, only pointersways to begin. No Guru can help you, if you're not willing to help yourself. You wait for a miracle to happen to them. You want someone else to do the work but the best person who knows you, understands you is - You. If you are willing to be honest with you, then the only thing you need to take is a pen and paper.(4) Begin anywhere. You can start with a high impact experience which has shaped you, changed you and Observe its butterfly effect moving forward , quietly affecting choices, reactions, and patterns. You did not let it go, notice how long you have been holding onto burning coal. Or begin with a present discomfort or fear. Trace it backwardslowly, patientlyto its possible origins. Do not guess. Do not dramatize. Let understanding arise through contemplation. You may need to move back and forth several times before clarity settles. This willingness to observe is the work. You do not need to fight fear or conquer discomfort.You don't need to overcome your discomfort and fear. You do not need to. Only you need to Outgrow it. Ask simple, direct questions: What genuinely brings me Joy? What gives me quiet happiness? And What is your spark? Introspect yourself. Strengthen your strengths and weaken your weaknesses. so that You can Test your discomfort incrementally and gently. Not to prove anythingbut to learn. For that you need to protect your spark and nourish it with attention, honesty, and patience. So that you can 'Sing A Song ' or better be a Song. .................................................................................................................................................... This article is dedicated to very Dear friend of mine, J . Please mail chaitanya.seeker@gmail.com For any errors, feedback and suggestions on this article or past articles and for suggestions of topics for the next articles .. 1. Joy .https://youtu.be/tg66yglwcpc?Si=ofp0cfavbfie9z59 2. Compounding intrest https://youtube.com/shorts/XDV8VuCYwLQ?si=g2yJ2YN16Tfh2P2_ https://youtube.com/shorts/XDV8VuCYwLQ?si=g2yJ2YN16Tfh2P2_ 3. sage Dattatreya https://sivanandayogafarm.org/24-gurus-of-dattatreya-nature-is-the-greatest-teacher/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dattatreya 4. importance of using pen and paper was discussed in detail in second half of below article https://gyanmarg.guru/ww/view.php?id=52995902&con=12384154