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Fear- An Obstacle On Spiritual Path
Neelam Nimare
## Fear - An Obstacle on Spiritual Path Fear is the most common emotion we all experience in our life. Be it the ordinary day to day life journey or the spiritual journey. We call fear as an emotion but actually it is an affliction of the mind or ego. There can be many types of afflictions in the mind like anger, greed, jealousy, lust etc and fear is one of these. These afflictions manifest as some activity in the mind. We also feel them call them as emotions. The origin of fear is primal. It comes from the evolutionary needs. Fear is essential for the survival of organism. Whenever there is a real treat to the organism, the fight or flight response is triggered. This initiates a series of bodily responses like increased heart rate, breathing, blood pressure, tightening of muscles and sometimes loud noises. These are the natural physiological responses and we name this response as fear. It helps the organism to escape the threat. So fear is helpful when there is a real threat to life. However in the modern times threats that ancient man faced are not relevant. Still there is lot of fear in our minds. This is because Fear is a very ancient program, it is deeply impressed. So it still persists. But, the object of threat has changed. Anything that is unpleasant is considered as a threat by the mind. This threat is actually a threat to the identity which is created in the mind. We call this as the Ego. Threat to ego becomes the cause of fear. So now the preservation of identity becomes the main focus of the mind. The most common type of fears mind has are fear of death, fear of loss, fear of unknown, fear of loneliness, fear of being judged and fear of failure. In our ordinary life, these are the commonest fears. A spiritual seeker when he begins his journey could also experience some fears. The fears he faces are also the same ones as ordinary people face like fear of death, loss, loneliness, etc but the subject of the fear changes. It becomes related to his spiritual path. All seekers must have experienced some of them. So, here are some of these fears *Fear of losing identity and control* We construct our identity from what we know and believe about ourselves. In the path of knowledge, these identities are deconstructed one by one. Knowledge challenges our beliefs about what I am. The beliefs that I am the body, the sensations, emotions, thoughts and contents of the memory are removed. When this self image is invalidated, the mind or ego may perceive it as a direct threat to survival. This triggers the defence mechanism of fear. This fear is exactly the same as fear of death where the organism resists annihilation. Fear of losing identity is akin to fear of death. Mind cannot imagine living without any story, so fear arises. The mind has to realise that what comes after the loss of identity is freedom. *Fear of the unknown* It is the nature of the mind to prefer the known. Mind is fearful of the unknown and wants to avoid it. It is because certainty favours survival. When things move in a predictable way, when all threats are taken into account, mind feels safe and happy. Thats why mind loves predictability. Working in an Unknown territory is very taxing for the mind. It is a high energy consuming state. Predictably is a preferred because it is energy saving. More energy available means better survival for the organism. Thats why the mind favours the known. A seeker who travels the PoK one realises that nothing can be known. The knowledge of the existence reveals that whatever is is unknowable. There is a realisation that the Self is cannot be known by the mind. It is empty, beyond the mind. This conflicts with the minds love of known. It triggers a discomfort in the mind. So what can be done here? Whenever such fear of unknown arises, witness the fear. Where and how is it arising from. Let go of the need to find an absolute or final answer. When you let go of this fear, you will find the joy in seeking. You will discover there is a natural curiosity in all of us, a childlike curiosity where the seeking itself becomes the joy regardless of the outcome. *Fear of losing control* The unknown also reveals that control is an illusion. The organism always has a belief that it is in control. The mind has intrinsic patterns of thinking that I am in control, I am in charge of my life. The ego owns the actions. It believes that it is the doer of all the actions. Here the knowledge conflicts the idea of control. It is realised that there is no one doing the actions. The mind body complex is illusory. It is driven by its impressions. There is no person directing the actions. This shakes the foundation of being in control. This loss of control is very frightening for the ego. Losing control is terrifying because the entire identity of ego revolves around planning, managing, achieving and fixing things. *Fear of loneliness* We all must have experienced this in some proportion. This is the loneliness when you are unable to share your most exciting discoveries and profound contemplation with the circle of people around you, your family friends colleagues etc. The topics that transformed you are met with blank stares, polite nods or sometimes dismissal. You feel very solitary amidst a crowd of people. This loneliness is also when you find that the things that matter to others no longer matter to you. The definition of necessary shifts. Your family and friends may stop involving you because you no longer participate in their dramas. Colleagues may find you strange when you say that a promotion no longer matters to you. Things that seem meaningful to you like Satsang, intelligent discussions and contemplation seem boring and trivial to others. This creates a rift, it feels alienating and isolated. There is a sort of painful loneliness where fear may arise when you want to express your genuine thoughts about the truth you have found. There is risk ostracism from society, friends or family. Because of this seeker has to sometimes chose to pretend be one among them. He unwillingly does the so called normal activities so that he is not felt odd. It is the loneliness of living in falsehood. The antidote to this fear of loneliness is to transform your relationship with it. Fear and pain of loneliness lead to the new state of solitude. It is a peaceful state where one shifts from seeking external validation to develop connection with your own self. Also one needs to develop different kind of outer connections. Actively try find your tribe. Seek for like minded groups of people or sangha. It could be through lectures, workshops, retreats, online forums, book clubs or discussion groups. This will make the loneliness desirable. *Fear of being judged* This is a complex type of fear. This fear arises out of the human need of belonging. Seekers may have fear of ridicule or isolation. Sometimes you share some profound learning and it is met with scepticism, then self doubt may arise. A change in your preferences may be mocked or you may be judged as being too preachy or not fun to be with anymore. In this case develop your own solitude. It will be a conscious effort to protect your peace and your spiritual journey. Try to shift the external validation to your own inner compass. Also realise that the people who judge you are not actually trying to hurt but they are themselves fearful. They are try to protect their beliefs. They are confused or threatened by the change in you. By Looking at judgements in this way, they will not trigger the fear. *Fear of responsibility* What sort of responsibility? It is not the responsibility of doing your worldly duties. It is the responsibility of taking your matters in your hands. Till one is ignorant, he is driven by his impressions. He blames people and situations for his happiness and suffering. With knowledge, comes the realization that your peace, happiness, and suffering are primarily your own creation. You cannot plead ignorance after knowledge. This means you can no longer blame others for making you react in that way. The focus of control shifts inward. Sometimes this can feel like a terrifying responsibility. The mind starts behaving like a taskmaster, weighing each thought, word or action. It can become a tiring job. The awareness practice is misunderstood as internal policing. Sometimes seekers may suddenly feel responsible to save others or to end wars and establish peace or save the earth. In such case one has to remember that Your responsibility is to do what is right, to the best of your ability, with sincerity and detachment from the outcome. You are not responsible for saving the world. You are only responsible for playing your part. Also with awareness one comes to realise that it is again the ego in disguise trying to wear clothes of being responsible for everything. Trying to take control, its favourite thing. There can be some other fears too. It is necessary to overcome fear because it indicates an afflicted mind. It obstructs and stagnates the spiritual journey. It is imperative for a seeker to overcome it. Being in awareness is the way for that. Recognise that there is fear. Watch the fears without judgements. Observe how it arises, what specific thought triggers the fear. Find the ignorance behind that thought. By deep contemplation, one has to see fear through the egoic process, the programming of the mind. It is importantly to override the fear through logic and wisdom. Fearlessness does not mean become careless or take irrational actions. The other antidote to fear is Trust. Trust the path, Trust the Knowledge and Trust your Guru. With Trust and Awareness the illusion of fear shall vanish!
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