The Truth Labyrinth: A Seeker's Inner Odyssey

Chongeswar

*There was a young boy, sweet and mischievous, beloved by his parents and elders. Over time, he started stealing and lying to cover up his actions, creating a web of deceit. As his lies piled up, he lost the trust of his family. Realising the damage he had done, he decided to change and began speaking the truth. Eventually, his honesty restored his family's faith in him. A discussion in school on different ways to celebrate birthdays inspired him to celebrate by spending the day with orphans, giving them the love and kindness he had learnt to embrace.*

It was the story of a telefilm. The thrill and joy of watching TV alone for the first time quickly faded, and my excitement turned into restlessness as if the creators had somehow uncovered all my mischiefs. I breathed a sigh of relief only when the second half began and confirmed it was just a telefilm. The first half, however, bore an uncanny resemblance to my own life. To cover up my lies and petty thefts, I would lie and tell countless other lies to prove that I had not lied. Along the way, I learnt that a lie, repeated often enough, can gain the weight of truth. The need for repetition could be minimised with a touch of emotion, powerful words, dramatic gestures, and convincing acting. Additionally, I also took advantage of the understanding that adults rarely stayed angry with children for long. Still, I would go to great lengths to fabricate alibis or rearrange situations so that my lies can pass as truth. Sometimes, it would take them weeks or even months to realise I was the perpetratoror they never found out at all. I was frequently told to put my intellect to better use. They already have picked a profession for me lawyer (sardonically, it is phonetically similar to liar.)

This telefilm inspired the inner Dattatreya*. I resolved not to lie, at least. Now I had two options: either to keep quiet or to palter. I also discovered that you can vary the degree of truth which was acceptable and negotiable. Such as, instead of accepting that you took five pieces of cookie or sweet, you accept taking it without confirming the quantity (maybe two or more; for the rest, I don't know; most probably, Jerry (the invisible mouse) took them). No wonder that Jerry and his kind became my best friends. Soon I become a master at paltering. अश्वत्थामा हतो, नरो वा कुञ्जरो वा (Ashwathama is dead, but I am not sure whether it is your son or the elephant) - This remained a reference point for me, the subtlety and beauty of it. It is sad that so many lies have been told by so many people using that one half-truth of Dharamraj Yudhishthir as an excuse. (*Great men are often judged by their faults and failures, rather than their virtues and victories. Theodore Roosevelt*).

Even with paltering, I was considered an improved child. But the negotiable or flexible part of the truth bothered me. So what is truth? To state as it is what you see or do. It made my family more joyous. I was elated as if I had cracked the code of truth. It was all going well with my understanding of truth till a dispute broke out about the not out decision between two cricket teams. Interestingly, everyone had different versions of it, depending on where they were standing, but all were claiming to be speaking the truth and swearing about it convincingly. Farcically, none of the two versions were the same, but conveniently and comfortably, they were automatically divided into two sides and fighting. Preposterously, how can the same be true for two villages, communities, states or even countries? I was stunned.
So, it was very confusing for a young boy who has just started learning the nuances of societal norms. What is truth? What is false? How to know? Who decides? After brainstorming, I realised that in the end what mattered most was what is at stake? What is the situation? Who stands to gain or probably gain in the future? Accordingly, one views or interprets the situation or conditions. It will be better to say even one twist of situations and conditions. Hence, shifting of the goalpost, and if they start losing the arguments, they can even make goalpost Disappear. Then comes the biggest argument of all because I said so. No further questions. The premise of this argument could be age, relation, emotions, numbers or any kind of authority, etc. It was very amusing to ever questioning an unyielding boy.
Amidst this confusion and chaos, I also embarked on the life which would see more winters than summers. Hence, closer observation of the most interesting creature human. People say what they do not mean as part of social decorum (1). Eerily, both the parties are aware of this formality. Still, it bothered me: what is the need to lie? Why do people lie? Survival, to keep peace or avoid conflict, personal gain or probable gain in the future, fear of rejection or non-acceptance, low self-worth, simply a habit, desire to belong or to be loved or to avoid pain or truth. 
Even more intriguing is that people/society accept lies because accepting the lies feels safer and more convenient and gives hope (however false), and as per part of social decorum, allows emotional comfort rather than confronting the truth and accepting the change.
There is a saying, *To err is human, and to forgive is divine,*" which has been so misused as an excuse to commit mistakes after mistakes. After a few bitter experiences, I had to rephrase *"To repeat the error is to be a donkey"* (2); to avoid repetition of the same mistakes or acceptance of the same the first pillar. Hence, aversion to sympathy and loss of trust in society.
Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with the important matters. Albert Einstein
 So, a question arises: if I cannot trust the society or follow accepted patterns, then how do I navigate lifes uncertainties? I realise I have only one true companion intellect.
Life often presents us with complex and tricky situations. At such junctures, multiple options may appear. The first step is to pause. Then, be open to receiving inputsthis could come from family, friends, peers, elders, even strangers, books, or any other source, resulting in countless perspectives.
Mentally, use logic and real-life experiences to explore various permutations and combinations of these inputs, generating a range of possible outcomes. Identify potential risks and think through precautionary measures. Through a process of elimination, narrow down your choices.
 Once again walk through the complete process from inputs to outputs and critically analyse them. After thoughtful reflection and consideration, select the best possible option.
Once the situation plays out, reflect on the process and its outcome. Use that insight to recalibrate your thinking and approach. Keep fine-tuning yourselfit's a continuous process of learning.
Let us name this process the P.A.R.C.O.S. Method (Pause, Assess, Reflect, Choose, Optimise, and Sync) or you can choose any creative name that reflects the essence of this process. At first this may seem arduous and tedious, but as you go along with this process a few times in different aspects of life. You will be amazed by the processing ability of your own mind. (3) If there is any hesitation and resistance left in you about the practicality of this process, just think of instances when you planned and carried out mischief as a child, played pranks as a school kid or tried to break the boundaries as a growing adult.
Living by this sutra during my formative years in the chaos of boarding schoola microcosm of societyproved to be an ideal cradle for cultivating inner discipline and understanding. Along the way, I was woundedphysically, emotionally, and psychologicallytime and again. But I learnt quickly. And I came to a sobering realisation: life is too brief to make every mistake myself. I must also learn from the mistakes of others."
*By silence, I hear other men's imperfections and conceal my own. Zeno of Elea, pre-Socratic Greek philosopher.*
This quote on a school wall came to my rescue, a major building block of learning. Speaking less and choosing to remain silent significantly improved my natural keen observation skills and introspection.
I came across a very interesting word in a school book empathy. The word empathy can be traced back to the Ancient Greek term empathia, with em- (meaning in or at) and pathos (meaning feeling or suffering). People sympathise, as it is easier, faster and safer than empathy, which may require slowing down and connecting deeply and may unnerve their own unresolved issues. I learn how to empathise better by listening more, understanding my own emotions, having a compassionate attitude and taking a sincere interest in other people's experiences, stories, interests, emotions and their backgrounds. It laid bare the shared tapestry of human emotions, fear, love, expectation and basic desires and complexities of relationships. But with this better understanding, I fell into the trap of the urge to come to the conclusion after considering numerous possible aspects of something or someone. Sometimes it was not even necessary or required. Correct conclusions brought me joy, but when outcomes strayed from what I had anticipated, they left me hurt and saddened. Feedback for course correction came in the form of the quote, Do not judge hastily; even God gives a lifetime to judge. So, I learnt to let go but still keenly observe and keep things open-ended. Hence, unnecessary baggage, cobwebs and the urge to come to conclusions disappeared, and focus could be shifted to learning and excellence.
I also realised that the cause of mistakes, errors in process and the need to shift the goalpost is a prejudiced approach. Approach becomes biased mostly because of attachment to emotions, desired outcomes, ideas or any kind of identity. I found my fourth pillar: objectivity by practising detachment.
Here, not necessarily but most probably, one can become harsh on the self, but still it is much better than building life around ideas of others, whatever you told and lies. Lies are complex; hence, innumerable categories and their justifications exist white lie, blue lie, black lie, grey lie, bold lie, big lie, disinformation, honest lie, jocose lie, noble lie, perjury, puffery, buffing, BS, cover-up, etc. This is just the beginning, but the most dangerous kind of lie is the simple and harmless type where one lies in trivial and harmless matters; for some, it is their unintended natural response. So, what begins as a game of innocent and harmless lies to deceive others soon becomes a maze of self-deception, ending in a downward spiral of self-destruction.
In this game of truth and lies. One thing which did not leave me was the fundamental questions existential questions, some call it the truth also. The search for the truth will remain superficial if truthfulness is not in speech and conduct, not part of life but life. How can one start?
 Journal your honest thoughts for 3-4 pages. Write whatever comes to your mind; early morning is best for this experiment.
 Speak truth kindly. Slowly you learn to speak without hurting anyone.(4)
 Speak with honesty and right intention, not harshness. (4)
 Do not blow your trumpet that you have started speaking truth.
 Notice when you avoid truth and reflect -Why?
 Speaking less and choosing to remain silent is unrivalled.
 One must think of ideas and values on which one wants to build ones life. Observe that your actions align with your thoughts. (5.)

Speaking truth can be healing, stimulating, refreshing and exciting. Once you begin speaking the truth, you no longer need to remember the entire narrative (6). Life becomes simpler, and with that simplicity comes a calm resilience. When others try to hurt you with their words, as they often do, their attempts lose power and do not hurt you. You begin to choose quality in every aspect of life. Give it a tryit only asks for one thing: the commitment to be honest with yourself (7). Though you could easily be misunderstood, strangely it does not bother you. You avoid people, and people avoid you. Yet in moments of despair, confusion, or vulnerability, they seek you outto confide in you, to ask for guidancewith an unwavering trust that you will understand. What you receive in return is a quiet smile as you pass by. (At least this was the case with me!)
Solitude and melancholy lead to automatic contemplation. I return with many pearls of understanding but I was still unable to figure out how to make the whole of these parts. Then I start yearning for the one person The Guru.

*"The pursuit of truth will set you free, even if you never catch up with it." Clarence Darrow*

- Chongeshwar /चोंगेश्वर
 For any errors, feedback and suggestions on this article or past articles and suggestions for the next article
Please mail chaitanya.seeker@gmail.com.

1.Action speaks louder than words - proverb
2.The paraphrase is very raw, reflecting the intellect of the child. The same idea has been expressed beautifully in following quotes 
 Once is happenstance. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is enemy action. Ian Fleming.
. Your first mistake is a lesson. Your second is a choice. Unknown
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Often attributed to Albert Einstein

3. P.A.R.C.O.S. this process has gone through various stages of evolution .
for processing ablities of the mind
https://www.wired.com/2002/11/this-is-your-computer-on-brains/
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/how-your-brain-is-better-than-a-supercomputer-44490810/
https://www.sciencealert.com/your-brain-is-still-30-times-more-powerful-than-the-best-supercomputers
https://www.i-sis.org.uk/The_Computer_Aspires_to_the_Human_Brain.php?

4. "A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent." William Blake
सत्यं ब्रूयात् प्रियं ब्रूयात्।
Satyaṁ brūyāt priyaṁ brūyāt.
Speak truth; speak it pleasantly.
सत्यं प्रियं हितं च यः।
Satyaṁ priyaṁ hitaṁ ca yaḥ.
Truth should be spoken with love and benefit.

5. ऋतं च सत्यं च अभिधात्ति।
Ṛtaṁ ca satyaṁ ca abhidhātti.
Righteousness and truth go together.
 सत्यं धर्मं च शीलं च।
Satyaṁ dharmaṁ ca śīlaṁ ca.
Truth, righteousness, and virtue go together.

6. "If you tell the truth, you dont have to remember anything." Mark Twain
No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. Abraham Lincoln
 western criminal interrogation techniques significantly use this principle successfully. 
 
7. "सत्यं चित्तस्य शुद्धिः Truth purifies the mind" (commitment to truth/being honest to yourself) 
Being honest with yourself (your flaws, intentions, and desires) leads to peace and growth.